Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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