And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
