we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize