Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
