I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
