yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize