After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We left the knife in your bed.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
