R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
