I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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