i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
