you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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