GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
