Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
