I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
