Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
