She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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