it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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