So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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