You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
