Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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