Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
and she was petting her beer can
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize