I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I AM VODKA MAN
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
