we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
