it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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