Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You took a bar mat shot.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
