Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
