ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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