He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
