we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
