Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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