Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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