i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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