Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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