and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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