you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
