I saw his package. It spoke to me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Randomize
