this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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