plz talk dirty to me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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