It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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