I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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