3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize