Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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