You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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