Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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