well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
