Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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