she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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