I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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