She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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