shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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