You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
