I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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