guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
