Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
