Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
