Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
