yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
