C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
