sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
