Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i need some magic done to my vagina
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
