hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
