There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
