Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
