i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
