Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
