Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
